No! No, it -

[he catches himself, realizing that he sounded a little desperate for her not to feel like she'd done wrong. which, of course, he WAS, but it wasn't a good look given their age difference. He was supposed to be The Competent Adult and have his shit together. so he scrabbles around mentally, scraping his composure together as best he can]

I appreciate you telling me in private, instead ... since it's a pretty personal thing that doesn't really look like it would be on the outside.