[carefully, Norman reaches out to put one hand over Peter's, to stop him from rummaging in his pack]
Peter, it's seriously okay. You don't have to ... transition to anything. Please, don't feel like you have to stuff down how you feel in front of me. I -
[he falters, choking on his own emotions. but he manages. this isn't his time, it's Peter's. and besides, explaining will help]
My father, Amberson - he didn't let me express myself. Say how I felt. I know we've talked a little bit about it before - the hobbies and such. But he also wouldn't let me be upset unless it was anger, and even then, never at him. I got conditioned to shove everything down, deep, into some dark corner where no one could see it... and I see now how much it hurt me and the people around me. What - who - became of it.
[he takes his hands away, looking at Peter with deep, genuine love and concern, the way he'd looked at Harry the last time he'd seen him. like a son.]
I know you wanted to come here because I missed Father's Day. And if you're going to consider me a sort of Father to you ... I don't want to do a single thing even remotely like mine. If you don't feel comfortable being upset in front of me yet, I can understand it. But please don't ever feel you have to hold anything back because I'd judge you for it, or disapprove. You feel how you feel. I may only just be learning there's nothin' wrong with that, but ... I don't want you to think there is.
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ninetydegrees
cw: toxic parenting
2/8/22 23:50 (UTC)Peter, it's seriously okay. You don't have to ... transition to anything. Please, don't feel like you have to stuff down how you feel in front of me. I -
[he falters, choking on his own emotions. but he manages. this isn't his time, it's Peter's. and besides, explaining will help]
My father, Amberson - he didn't let me express myself. Say how I felt. I know we've talked a little bit about it before - the hobbies and such. But he also wouldn't let me be upset unless it was anger, and even then, never at him. I got conditioned to shove everything down, deep, into some dark corner where no one could see it... and I see now how much it hurt me and the people around me. What - who - became of it.
[he takes his hands away, looking at Peter with deep, genuine love and concern, the way he'd looked at Harry the last time he'd seen him. like a son.]
I know you wanted to come here because I missed Father's Day. And if you're going to consider me a sort of Father to you ... I don't want to do a single thing even remotely like mine. If you don't feel comfortable being upset in front of me yet, I can understand it. But please don't ever feel you have to hold anything back because I'd judge you for it, or disapprove. You feel how you feel. I may only just be learning there's nothin' wrong with that, but ... I don't want you to think there is.