certaininequities | IC Inbox for Ryslig

I've got ... a surprising amount of people making sure that I do.

[he looks back down at Peter, studying him with a parent's keen eye]

What about you?

[Peter blinks at the reversal of the question. He scrunches his nose a little unhappily. Unintentionally sounding a bit defensive.]

I- yeah, I am. Why wouldn't I be?

[Unsurprisingly, he's pouring more time into being Spider-Man where he can.]

Hm.

[he knows that little defensive edge all too well from years of talks with Harry, but this isn't about homework and video games. this is a little heavier. and he's got to go at this a much different way than he used to.]

Wasn't suggesting you weren't. I just remember that when I was your age, and things happened that shook my life around, a friend of mine used to have to remind me to get out and see the sun once in a while. Mind you, I think his exact words were usually something like "Goddammit, Osborn, pull your head out of your ass and come to this dumb thing of Allan's with me so I don't have to suffer alone".

[Was that an on-point if feeble J. Jonah Jameson impression> Absolutely. Still, he squints at Peter, smiling in that wily way]

Then again, I've been hearing some chatter here and there, on my errands. It seems quite a few people are saying someone named Spider-man has been keeping a few human hoodlums in line. Y'wouldn't know anything about that, would'ja?

[oh God, Norman, why did you wink, you idiot]

[The impression earns a short exhale from the teenager, an attempt at a laugh. Not much of one.] Well, Chiaki helps me. You and Otto too.

Even Beck was being all... fussy I guess. [He loosely crosses his arms over his chest. His mind mulls over the conversation from the network when Norman announced their deaths. It still stuck with him sometimes.] So, I'm okay. People are looking out for me.

Well... [He fidgets slightly.] Yeah, I mean- someone needs to take care of Bavan, right?

Edited (words hard, brain empty) 2022-07-25 18:45 (UTC)

I would think it's not a one-spider job. Please let me help you however I can.

[the mention of Beck, though ... makes him remember he wanted to ask]

Our meeting in the Cube was pretty enlightening, you know. Quentin and I. ... I think he deserves the same chance you gave Otto and I. But it's... not gonna be easy.

I will. I'm just trying to cover as much of Bavan as a I can in an hour, its not what I want it to be but... [He trails off with a shrug not sure where to go with the thought.

Mention of Beck makes the teenager audibly sigh.] I want to offer him like... a truce, but I dunno if he'd even take it.

Then why don't you ask for help? I'm sure that there are folks who would be interested. There's a whole organization devoted to volunteering, after all.

[it's not a scolding, at all: it's a gentle encouragement]

People need support networks, Peter. You and Otto have proven that to me more than anything: I'm just reminding you of your own wisdom.

[he nods as they shift back to discussing Quentin: he is trying not to think of him as Beck, that seemed disrespectful now, almost dismissive]

I don't think he's ready yet, no. He can't lie anymore, so ... he admitted to me that he's looking for someone to connect to, who understands what he's been through and supports him. The trouble is, I do. My board of directors treated me quite like that Toby Stark fella treated him. [he holds up a hand, anticipating a reaction]

I know Stark meant a lot to you, and I'm not trying to undermine that just for Quentin's sake. But if anything, I also know everyone is imperfect, and business owners can get so tied up in details and tunnel vision that they miss things that matter, do damage they don't realize. I'd say he needs time to process things, but I'm just as worried that they won't process so much as fester.

Last time I worked on a team, it didn't go super great. [Oh Avengers, oh your folly.] I'll think about it? I mostly wanted to work with Chiaki, but I don't wanna just drop all that on her. I'm used to like... super hero-ing alone.

[Peter is just solidly torn on Beck, the man had tried to help Peter feel better as much as he yelled at Peter.

The mention of Tony makes Peter bristle a little on principle, especially since Beck is involved. What had Beck been telling people about Tony?]

His grudge against Tony is the reason he decided to kill people as Mysterio. He couldn't get over being fired and decided to take it out on everyone else. He built a team specifically for it too. [Peter had gotten hints about that much from Beck.] I'm sorry he had a rough time, I'm not going to write him off, but- I'm not going to be fine with what he decided to do because he was slighted.

I'm not going to believe him about Tony. You really shouldn't either. Tony wasn't perfect, but he helped me. He saved everyone from Thanos. He died, he died to save everyone.

[Some part of Peter wishes someone else had taken the gauntlet. He knows it's selfish, but it's a thought he can't always get rid of.]

You don't seem like the type to hold a grudge against a concept forever. Besides, if you do decide to start a team, it's yours, no one else's. You can take your time, vet people, you don't have to make any decisions right away. Especially if you have someone whose opinions you already trust to help - like, say, Otto.

[he's still a little hesitant to volunteer himself.]

But we don't have to talk about all that if you don't want to. ... I feel like maybe I should share what I know with you. I took it with a grain of salt, but ... he said he helped design some sort of holographic interaction interface, and it was meant to have widespread applications, but Stark appropriated it for personal use. Quentin said he got fired because he objected to that... mind you, he wasn't a fairy at the time, so like I said. Grain of salt. Might be worth asking him again how much of that was true, if you feel like it. But ... you're right. No matter how much of it is true, none of it was an excuse for him to do the things he did. He needs to work through all of that himself. The problem is that right now? He's in a place where he doesn't want to.

[he shakes his head, recognizing that Peter is still very raw. no wonder May's death hurt him so much - he'd already lost his uncle, and the man who he'd considered a mentor as Spider-Man.]

I'm sorry if any of that upset you, Peter. I really am. We always want to think the best of the people we love.

[he used to make so many excuses for his fath - oh. Norman winces, realizing he has probably just put his foot in it]

... And he was probably a bit like a father to you, wasn't he? Ugh - ! I'm so sorry, Peter, I wasn't thinking of the whole picture, just one piece where I keep trying to help and failing. This ... this little outing really isn't going the way I envisioned it. How can I make it better?

I'll think about it. Really think about it. [He means that much. He doesn't feel like he would be qualified, but, he can't be the only one trying to help Bavan or the people here.] I want to be sure before I commit to anything.

[He ends up crossing his arms over his chest, biting the inside of his cheek a little harder than he should. There is a relief there and he doesn't quite know how else to quantify it.

He wants to argue, so desperately. He wants to blame Beck as much as he wants to pardon the man. Peter wants to forgive as much as he can.

The conflicting emotions just boil over in his chest as he sucks in a breath.

The distant tang of cooper in the back of his mouth is enough to help him re-center.]

I want him to work on it. I really do, I- I don't want to hear him talk about it! I don't! I know what he's going to say. I don't need Quentin Beck's perspective on Tony.

Do you know how much people talk about Tony? How much they act like they knew him? I can't go anywhere without people telling me about Tony. How much of a hero he was or how much they hated him.

I feel like I didn't even get a chance to know him. I died for five years! I was at his funeral! Tony's wife gave me a- a picture he had of us- a stupid picture we took- I didn't-

[He clutches a little desperately at himself. He's angry as much as he's sad all over again. Fingers find their way into his hair as he closes his eyes, forcing himself to breath.] Its- its fine, I'm sorry, just- give me a second.

Give me a second. I'll be fine.

[He'll always be fine. He has to be.]

[the more upset Peter gets, the more Norman's face twists in guilt and concern, eyes wide]

Alright, Peter. ... I'm sorry. That was ... I shouldn't have brought up any of that. Not the time, and not even my place.

[he hesitates for just a moment before stepping up to Peter and gently disengaging the boy's hands from his hair, then pulling him into a hug. one arm goes around Peter's torso, the other to his hair, stroking through it to soothe him in place of letting Peter pull at it, himself]

You don't have to be fine. Not here. And not about any of that. It's alright.

[It speaks to how much Peter trusts Norman, that even now he doesn't seem to startle or shy away from the man's touch. The entire conversation so far had been rough emotionally for both of them, but Peter's trust doesn't waver.

There are so many other things Peter wants to say, wants to let drop out of him but it deflates as soon as Norman holds him.

He's fine.

He has to be.

He takes in a few breaths, just pressing his face against Norman's shoulder for a moment.]

Okay... I- Okay. [He doesn't believe that at all. Not even slightly, but he can pretend for Norman.]

Edited (code hard) 2022-07-31 17:52 (UTC)

[He just needs a minute to hold onto Norman, mentally just pulling himself back to the actual point. This was supposed to be for Father's day. He's just... ruined it so swiftly.

The teenager only draws back once he's feeling calmer. An awkward apology sits in the back of his throat, but he swallows it down. He rambles, his words getting ahead of his thoughts. Even as his gaze drops to the side.]

I... I have no idea how to actually like smoothly transition to- anything right now. [He shrugs his backpack off, moving to open it, digging through it for Norman's gifts.] I wanted to give these to you! I- I keep kind of forgetting, and that's like part of the point!

[carefully, Norman reaches out to put one hand over Peter's, to stop him from rummaging in his pack]

Peter, it's seriously okay. You don't have to ... transition to anything. Please, don't feel like you have to stuff down how you feel in front of me. I -

[he falters, choking on his own emotions. but he manages. this isn't his time, it's Peter's. and besides, explaining will help]

My father, Amberson - he didn't let me express myself. Say how I felt. I know we've talked a little bit about it before - the hobbies and such. But he also wouldn't let me be upset unless it was anger, and even then, never at him. I got conditioned to shove everything down, deep, into some dark corner where no one could see it... and I see now how much it hurt me and the people around me. What - who - became of it.

[he takes his hands away, looking at Peter with deep, genuine love and concern, the way he'd looked at Harry the last time he'd seen him. like a son.]

I know you wanted to come here because I missed Father's Day. And if you're going to consider me a sort of Father to you ... I don't want to do a single thing even remotely like mine. If you don't feel comfortable being upset in front of me yet, I can understand it. But please don't ever feel you have to hold anything back because I'd judge you for it, or disapprove. You feel how you feel. I may only just be learning there's nothin' wrong with that, but ... I don't want you to think there is.

[Peter goes quiet, just listening to Norman speak. His shoulders slump somewhat. Guilt twists uncomfortably in his chest.

He hadn't realized Norman had such a complicated and... bad relationship with his own father. This was supposed to be a good fathers day thing, not an emotional rollercoaster.]

Okay. [He says quietly back, just trying to find something to say. Everything that comes to mind feels useless.] I'm- I'm not afraid of expressing myself, I just...

I wanted to do something for you. I didn't want to be a weepy mess. I've been crying so much, and... [He raises a hand to press it tightly against his eyes.]

Edited 2022-08-04 07:48 (UTC)

But you are doing something for me, Peter.

[he gathers him carefully back into his arms]

I didn't dare to expect you'd even want to spend time with me again, let alone talk like this. Be honest with each other. I just want to be here for you. No matter what kind of mood you're in, weepy mess or not.

[he lifts his head and calls out, quietly]

Elias, may I have the defaults, please?

[the pixels around them shift in Matrix waterfalls, turning like tiny cubes. some sink down and others rise until they're standing in Norman's penthouse on an Oriental rug next to a soft-looking couch]

Come on, let's sit down.

[It is almost a relief as much as it a proverbial gut punch at New York disappearing.

Peter isn't sure what he should feel at it disappearing around them. His hands shake slightly. He forces them to steady out, clutching a little at the backpack in his grasp for some semblance of stability.

He settles on keeping it simple. Keep it in the moment.]

Yeah, sitting down would be good.

Alright. Make yourself comfortable, please ... this is where I used to live: Tudor City. Right up at the top.

[he waits for Peter to sit, playing the good host and the concerned adult all at once. he can see the way Peter's hands clutch, but he's glad that they're muckling onto the bag instead of his hair this time, at least. he finds himself wishing that the little bar in the Cube was real - he would offer the poor kid a glass of water to calm himself down.]

We can always go back to Queens later. It'll stay in the database. I've got a lot of other places in New York programmed, too, y'know: Bruno keeps asking to see things.

[Peter ends up settling the backpack in his lap as he sits down on the couch, the weight of it comfortable enough to help him feel a bit more grounded.]

It's really fancy here.

[He releases a soft huff at that.] He never really saw a lot of stuff, so, I'm not surprised.

I admit, most of it was for appearances at first, because I didn't know what kinda stuff a successful businessman should have in his house. Let someone else pick a lot of it, someone who isn't part of my life much, anymore. But I grew t' like it well enough.

[the portrait of Caroline Osborn that would really be on the wall has, instead, been replaced with one of him and Harry. it's a painted representation of a photo they had taken of the two of them for Harry's eighteenth birthday, and both of them look almost uncharacteristically content in each other's presence. glancing at it as he sits down, Norman feels a pang of melancholy himself, and turns his attention to the bag]

I still can't believe you did something, for this. Pretty sure Harry stopped giving me anything more than a card once he started high school.

[The teenager looks down at his backpack, debating with himself on whether to pull the gifts out. His gaze flicks back up to Norman.

It doesn't take long for his attention to stray to the portrait. He finally has a face to go with the name. At least he assumes that's Norman's actual son.]

I'm glad you grew to like it. I've never really lived somewhere that like... was this fancy. I dunno how I'd deal with it.

[He huffs a little.] I always try to do something? This is... our first fathers day together, and I wanted to make it special.

Edited 2022-08-07 04:35 (UTC)

... And so far I've completely botched that up, haven't I?

[he chuckles without humor and shakes his head, smiling sadly]

Alright, Peter. Let's turn this around. You show me what you've brought, and then we'll do something fun. Your choice. We could go bowling at Insert Coin, maybe get something to eat, whatever you like.

You've been trying to- talk about a lot of stuff. It's been a lot for both of us.

[He rubs at his face a little, just trying to shift gears properly to something else.]

Yeah, I'd- like that, if you have the time, I mean.

[He looks back down to his backpack, finding the plushie first. The shirt has fallen towards the bottom of the bag.]

I made this for you. [He pulls the stuffed axolotl to hold out to Norman. The teenager is a little nervous now.] I- I hope you like it?

[Norman squints as he takes the soft little creature from Peter's hands: he's obviously curious, a little perplexed, but generally pleased as he looks at the grouchy little gray face.]

You did this on your own? Peter, this is fantastic. All this clever little stitching, and -

[he turns it over, puzzled. rainbow fabric? maybe Peter ran out of gray. then he realizes that something else can be done here, and fiddles with the axolotl until it turns inside out. the wonder and joy on his face are as clearly projected as though he were Peter's own age, or even younger.]

Oh my God, it - HA! Look at that! Oh, lookit - that is so great. Where in the world did you come up with something like this?

Yeah! Ben and I used to make some stuff like this together. Also helps that I kinda had practice with Otto's and got better with yours. [One or two bits of stitching are lopsided and strange in spots all signs of someone still figuring out what they're doing.

The teenager releases a soft amused sound at Norman figuring out the flip so quickly. Seeing Norman look so genuinely happy eases the teenager immediately. The tension he's been carrying disappears for the moment.]

It kinda just came to me? I thought it'd be cool y'know? So you get two stuffed animals at once kinda.

IC Inbox for Ryslig

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cw: mild unintentional self harm

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pls check the keywords for this icon <3

I hurgle

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care to wrap it up? :)

Yeah, lets wrap here!