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[certaininequities]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DR_OSBORN.

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<DR_OSBORN> You've reached Dr. Norman Osborn.
<DR_OSBORN> Please leave a message: I'll respond as promptly as possible.

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Comments

[certaininequities]

Yeah, no, trust me, no alien ships here unless you want to see them.

[he figures this has something to do with that Snap that Peter mentioned, and decides to not ask for more details.]

I had a sandwich earlier. I'm good. Here, it's this way...

[the hallways are lit with neon accents, and Peter might think it does look a little bit like a spaceship inside, save for the signs hanging from the fork in the corridor that say '<-- PRIVATE ROOMS' and 'ARENA -->'. Norman leads them off to the left, and gestures for Peter to open the first door.]

Here. After you.

[when he opens the door, Peter will find himself stepping right onto the streets of Queens. It's Norman's Queens, so some of the details are bound to be different, but ... it's still absolutely obvious what Norman's done for him]

[heyunderoos]

[Peter's gaze keeps flicking around the halls, curious but also mildly wary. The inside looks space ship-y enough to make him wonder who even built this place.

Not that the thought lasts particularly long as they come to a door. He opens it as instructed and walks forward into the room.

The sight of Queens immediately just knocks the air out of the teenager. It isn't exactly the neighborhood as he remembers it, but its close enough he stumbles forward. His grip tightening on the backpack straps as his breath shakes.]

...Oh.

[certaininequities]

[Norman watches him carefully, keeping his distance but wanting desperately to touch his shoulder]

... is this okay? Should I have done something else?

[heyunderoos]

I- no, no, its- [He sucks in another breath, and another, trying to regain his composure. He doesn't want to cry. He doesn't want to break down again.

His voice is very small when he does speak again.]

Its good. Thank you.

[certaininequities]

[he paused, not wanting to stammer his way through it. once he was sure he had his words in order. this was an important moment - and he'd learned how to make his words count in those. he'd just always misclassified them as board meetings, speeches, sound bytes. not moments with treasured people, full of emotion. no more of that. he was making sure he remembered what was really important.]

When I first arrived here, and I learned about this building: about why Elias built it for everyone, and what it could do? I only wanted to see one place: home. I don't know exactly what your home looked like, I wasn't there long enough, so ... This was as close as I could come. If you want, I can teach you the programming parameters, so you can make whatever you like, for some other time.

[the rest of the words come so easily, because he's said some of them before. he means them no less now than he did then. maybe, he hopes, this time, he'll get to make good on them]

I haven't been there for you the way I should have. Not by a long shot. I shouldn't have been so afraid to tell you everything, and I should have told you right away. But I want to make it up to you, Peter: I want to rectify every single one of those inequities. I know it won't happen overnight. But -

[he realizes he's done well to make it this far without faltering, without giving in to the raging hurricane of guilt, self-doubt, and self-loathing swirling through him. one hesitation might not look like a glaring weakness. he hopes it doesn't. he finally grasps that courage he was searching for, and puts his hand on Peter's forearm]

No matter what he did ... I still love you.

cw: vague suicidal idealation

[heyunderoos]

[Peter at best manages a few steps further, just looking at everything. He exhales slowly, tipping his head back as he listens to the sounds of Queens. It feels alive, eletric with activity. He can hear people going about their lives in the neighborhood.

If he pretends, if he just pretends...

Then Norman speaks, breaking the silence between them. The teenager turns back to the man. Peter doesn't interrupt, just soaking in Norman's words.]

I wish you had told me sooner. [It's an echo of words said to Otto. Not exact, but a simple enough statement. He does wish it had come before the goblin appeared, so the goblin hadn't been armed with so many secrets. So, he hadn't been able to hurt Otto and everyone else so badly.

Peter wishes none of it had happened, but wishes don't really mean much here and now.

What would May want? That's a question Peter ask himself. May never held a grudge, even when it was seemingly deserved. Peter never really could either. Like mother like son]

There is... a part of me that won't forgive you, not for a long time. May is- May shouldn't have died. I don't want to believe it. I'd rather be dead, it should have been me, not her.

I know- I know Goblin isn't you, but this is... so much. I'm so tired of everything being torn away from me as soon as I feel okay or safe.

[He rubs at his eyes a little, unable to keep tears from stinging at his eyes. He hesitates before placing his hand over the top of Norman's own.]

I still love you too. That hasn't changed. It's why I even- I even wanted to celebrate father's day with you.

[certaininequities]

Peter -!

[it's just one quiet protest, when he says he should have died and not May. then he holds himself back, and gives the boy space to talk. he nods, his face crinkling with sympathy and remorse. when Peter starts to cry, Norman squints, hating to see him in pain ...

and then Peter reciprocates, and suddenly they're both crying. Norman wraps his arms around Peter, pulling him into a gentle hug]

Every single thing you feel is valid, but one, and it's the only thing I'll correct you on: no one should have died.

[he steps back, not wanting to prolong the contact for so long that he frightens Peter or puts him back in any sort of place where he feels threatened.]

Peter, you're so good. I see so much of her in you: that kind heart, the compassion, all those things that He tried to spin as weakness ... I know the truth, I see them as so much strength. And I - I want to be more like you both. Which is why I'm askin' you to hold on to that anger. Keep it safe, in a special place somewhere. Take it out and show it to me if I'm being anything less than what you want me to be. What I should be.

[heyunderoos]

[Peter sniffles a little, tears starting to freely spill down his cheeks. He can't stop the tears now. He wishes he could.

He squeezes Norman gently before the man pulls away completely.] Yeah, I- I guess that's fair. No one should have died. [If he had been stronger, he could have achieved that.

He nods tearfully at that. He wipes at his eyes a little.] I can't say it'll be anger, but... I can remind you, if need be.

I just want everything to be okay.

[certaininequities]

Oh, Peter ...
'
[that does it, that wasn't nearly enough hug for him now that he's crying. Norman goes in for another one and just ... holds him, this time.]

It will be. We all care about each other too much for it not to.

[he keeps his voice soft, soothing, as he reaches up and strokes his hair, the way he did when they were in that comfortable pile, the last good memory before it all fell apart. maybe he's trying to pull that forward into the present, to keep it alive. maybe he's reaffirming that it never actually died, even though both of them did.]

You let out as much of that as you need to. It's okay.

[as he says it, some little lock inside him clicks open. a piece of green armor falls away and corrodes into dust]

[heyunderoos]

[There is no fight against the hug. Maybe a brief surprise at another hug, but the surprise melts away. He leans into the hug. He presses his face best he can against Norman's shoulder.

Peter weakly laughs, tears leaving a wet trail down the fur on his cheeks.]

I've cried too much already... I- I didn't even see her die and- [He chokes on the next sentiment, unable to finish it.] It's not fair, it's not fair.

[certaininequities]

No -

[his voice breaks, grieving right along with Peter. he'd liked May, himself, genuinely felt so grateful to her. she'd changed him, even before she'd talked Peter into curing them all]

- no, it's not, and I wish I knew what to say about that.

[the sounds of the city go on around them, unabated, even though there's not another actual person in sight. it's eerie, and yet somehow fitting. alone in their grief, but surrounded by life.]

[heyunderoos]

I just... I want her back.

[Peter's breath shakes as he just holds onto Norman. His hold whilst desperate is still careful out of old instincts.

He sucks in a breath, trying to swallow back tears. It isn't working. He goes quiet after his words, just soaking in the silence as he holds onto Norman. The two standing in silence together in the low sounds of Queens.]

[certaininequities]

[he lets Peter take as much of that silence as he needs. reaching up to rub his back a little. being ... the sort of person he was invited here to be, in an oblique sort of sense. a father figure. he knows he has to earn the right, that Peter has to give him that title himself. but he's trying so desperately to make up for all the ways that the Goblin hurt the poor boy. he knows he will never fully separate himself from the embodiment of every dark thought in his mind and soul ... that he has to work past that, to work hard.

but this is part of the work, isn't it? walking the talk. Being Better. he hopes Peter will understand and allow that, even if it's only in small moments like this. his voice shakes as he responds]

So do I. ... I know it's not worth much, but ... she'd be so proud of you, Peter. Of how hard you're trying. That you're still doing your best despite everything.

[he swallows hard]

I know I am.

[heyunderoos]

It... It helps to hear. [Peter wants to believe that. He wants to believe that desperately, that May is proud of him. That she doesn't regret letting him be Spider-Man, or regret even keeping him around.]

I can tell that you're doing your best. I'm glad you're still here, I'm- [He runs out of steam verbally, just drawing back after a moment from the hug.

He's already emotionally tired. Seeing Queens hurt as much as it helped.]

[certaininequities]

[Norman steps back as well, watching him with concern, even as his own eyes are a little red and tired. He has a feeling it's time for a change of subject, so he gestures for Peter to follow him down the street, get them moving. he gives Peter a moment to calm down, and when he speaks again, the way he asks the question has a sort of unspoken out to it: a lilt that suggests Peter doesn't have to answer yet, or even at all.]

How's living with Bruno treating you? Are you still at Solsikke?

[heyunderoos]

[He follows Norman without complaint, his gaze shifting across Queens. Peter needs the quiet to sort himself out. Just to focus on breathing.

Peter is well, Peter. He answers honestly enough.]

I- after Otto came back, we talked and I went home with him. I didn't want to intrude on Bruno's hospitality.

[certaininequities]

I'm sure he wouldn't have minded a bit, but ... I'm also glad you're back with Otto. I've been worried about both of you.

[what he won't say is written clearly on his face, if Peter should happen to look: he misses it there. he misses them. Reira, Sonic, Ray and Dib, too. but this isn't the time or place to push such things].

I'm sure Reira was glad to see you, too. And Dib.

[heyunderoos]

Yeah, I'm sure he would've been okay with it, but I just... well, I wanted to go home. [He also managed to anger Isabela, and Peter isn't going to overstay a welcome after he's tanked things. He isn't as anxious about her reaction, but he isn't going to prod at it either.] We've- well, I've been worrying about you too. I know you can take care of yourself, but... I- yeah.

[He doesn't want to speak for Otto. He doesn't want to make the situation weird. He rubs at the back of his neck nervously.]

[certaininequities]

You ...

[the fact that Peter still has the capacity to be concerned for him after everything is touching, almost painfully so. Norman looks up at the sky to keep from tearing up, and notices that the Cube even accounts for a few pigeons fluttering by]

Awh, Peter. I appreciate it, I do. But I'm waiting to hear from Reira. She's the one who invited me there in the first place, and it's her house: so it's ultimately up to her.

[heyunderoos]

Like... what happened is still a lot. It doesn't negate how I feel about you? I care about you and Otto a lot.

[Peter nods slowly, though the gesture is a bit lost given Norman is focused elsewhere, so the teenager speaks.] Yeah, of course. It's her decision. Whatever she says goes, since we're all kinda just living in her house rent free.

I'm just glad you're at least doing okay, taking care of yourself and everything.

[certaininequities]

I've got ... a surprising amount of people making sure that I do.

[he looks back down at Peter, studying him with a parent's keen eye]

What about you?

[heyunderoos]

[Peter blinks at the reversal of the question. He scrunches his nose a little unhappily. Unintentionally sounding a bit defensive.]

I- yeah, I am. Why wouldn't I be?

[Unsurprisingly, he's pouring more time into being Spider-Man where he can.]

[certaininequities]

Hm.

[he knows that little defensive edge all too well from years of talks with Harry, but this isn't about homework and video games. this is a little heavier. and he's got to go at this a much different way than he used to.]

Wasn't suggesting you weren't. I just remember that when I was your age, and things happened that shook my life around, a friend of mine used to have to remind me to get out and see the sun once in a while. Mind you, I think his exact words were usually something like "Goddammit, Osborn, pull your head out of your ass and come to this dumb thing of Allan's with me so I don't have to suffer alone".

[Was that an on-point if feeble J. Jonah Jameson impression> Absolutely. Still, he squints at Peter, smiling in that wily way]

Then again, I've been hearing some chatter here and there, on my errands. It seems quite a few people are saying someone named Spider-man has been keeping a few human hoodlums in line. Y'wouldn't know anything about that, would'ja?

[oh God, Norman, why did you wink, you idiot]

[heyunderoos]

[The impression earns a short exhale from the teenager, an attempt at a laugh. Not much of one.] Well, Chiaki helps me. You and Otto too.

Even Beck was being all... fussy I guess. [He loosely crosses his arms over his chest. His mind mulls over the conversation from the network when Norman announced their deaths. It still stuck with him sometimes.] So, I'm okay. People are looking out for me.

Well... [He fidgets slightly.] Yeah, I mean- someone needs to take care of Bavan, right?

[certaininequities]

I would think it's not a one-spider job. Please let me help you however I can.

[the mention of Beck, though ... makes him remember he wanted to ask]

Our meeting in the Cube was pretty enlightening, you know. Quentin and I. ... I think he deserves the same chance you gave Otto and I. But it's... not gonna be easy.